Hey there everyone, I hope you all are well? If not, I hope somehow you can find the courage and strength to continue forwards!
Well, as those who follow me have noticed, the last few arts I've decided to take a different direction. I uploaded only sketches, usually accompanied by my hand holding a lead pencil with a completed sketch in tow. I have decided over the last couple of years that I do not think I am meant to do endless commissions or requests from those who admire my works. As much as the extra money or praise helps, I find the last two years have seen me kind of drift from doing art. I have mostly drawn and created, like Beatrix Potter, to please mostly myself. Granted, only few of my works are original, and from an era and phase that has long since outgrown itself. Creating fanart has given me a chance to create something I have admired or cherished from childhood and my adolescent years. But I just don't feel like doing any more big projects like I used to. I think I've grown disenchanted with the community in general. Maybe it's because I'm a little older now. But it's also due to seeing an influx of fetish works and what not like tickling, etc that I just don't seem to get. To each their own, and we are all different. That's what it's something I don't care for, as an individual. If you dig that, that's fine, but I don't care for such things. A mixture of many different things have been attributed to a lack of any real pieces. It's also attributed to laziness. With having had two jobs over the past year, I just don't have the stamina for putting something together that I feel won't get much props anyway. Hence why these past few sketches I've uploaded have been a breath of fresh air for me. Including quotes with them makes it even more special. I just feel like the creative burst from 2004-2010 has come to an end, and I guess that's okay. It doesn't mean I won't stop completely, or maybe I will. The future is not mine to see. Let's see what happens.
Speaking of jobs, I resigned from one of them a couple weeks ago. It was amazing to have been a veterinary assistant! I learned so much and accomplished so much in this profession. But I felt like I had to give it a break for a while for now. I might return to the field again in the future, but for now, a break was due. I want to pursue other endeavors professionally and hoping one of these snags my line. I also felt like I worked to the bone, and wasn't seeing much encouragement on some things or given credit where credit was due. As you can tell by now, I am one who loves praise, and I find it a crime when someone else gets more props for something that I have also done, and not gotten any respect for. It's a complex, I suppose. But don't we all feel this way from time to time? It's not a constant for me, but if it builds, then I can't help feeling how I feel. That said, it was an amazing experience, I am very blessed to have been given that chance. It is a gem to my resume. But it's also emotionally draining, and I feel if I have a break, and if I go back to the profession again, I will not only have that cherished experience, but I will feel recharged again.
As for heroes, who do you look up to? Or have looked up to at one point? For me, it's some of the following:
311-For anyone who knows me outside the web, they can tell you how much I love 311. If you don't know who they are, please look them up. These guys have been in the music industry for 20+ years, and still making us "Excitable Ones" jam out and sustain values of unity and positivity. The grooves are amongst some of the most racked up play counts on my iPod. I actually met the lead singer briefly last year, Nick Hexum, and he autographed my poster and posed for a photo with me! Such great guys, who I will always support!
Jason Statham-C'mon! He's a badass and you know it! From Transporter up to The Expendables, this is a guy who'll beat the shit out of you with a pen! He is skilled at martial arts, and he's got a fucking HOT ass girlfriend! He's English, which only makes him even cooler! I wouldn't wanna even tell this guy to move his car from my assigned parking space!
Layne Staley & Kurt Cobain-I also admire these two, for not only did they contribute to rock and roll with their respective bands, they also lived somewhat introverted lives. They were tragic figures that were undone by their own demons, and this is why perhaps I look up to them, for it shows that us as humans, no matter how much success we might have or how fulfilled we are, we are still prone to things like depression and anxiety. No one is immune, and these two were prime examples of such gifted, talented artists who left too soon because of such things. But it doesn't mean they didn't lead great lives and didn't achieve greatness.
Bruce Lee-Yes, he brought martial arts to the Western World and to the mainstream. A couple of his flicks have been somewhat corny, but when you kick as much ass as Bruce Lee did, who cares about Oscars?? He also seemed to be shrouded in mystery, including his death. I got to visit his and his son's graves in Seattle back in 2011 and this was a very poignant event for me. It's always surreal and bizarre to know that someone famous is buried just six feet below from where you are standing.
The Beastie Boys-Sure, they started out as your typical frat rappers, but overtime, their flows developed into many different topics about acceptance, individuality , etc that isn't really seen in hip-hop much. It was sad when MCA died back in 2012, and right around the time I started getting into the Beasties again. Listen to their flows, and they bring an element of fun and reflection to the game that a lot of MC's aren't even capable of touching.
I feel as I've grown, my heroes have changed over time. Perhaps because of I sense superficiality or overexposure. Pharrell Williams was someone I admired for ages up until recently. It seems to me he is now too popular, he's everywhere and a force to be reckoned with. He's gotten overexposed (the song "Happy", hello?) and I just feel he's become so materialistic in the process. I find myself, being a world traveler, now looking up to explorers and adventurers. Folks like Jeremy Wade (from River Monsters) and Bruce Parry, who go against the societal tide of conformity to show us things in the natural world and how important it is that we create a sustainable world for future generations to live in. Others I have started to look up to recently include Dave Cornthwaite, Jason Lewis and Ed Stafford.
Well, that is all for now, if you have had patience to read this, thanks for giving it a read! Happy Easter everyone!